Saturday, June 28, 2014

Parenting Pressure

See? I'm doing a good job. They're fine despite my failures. Right?

I think most parents worry about something like this at some point. Children who are visibly successful ease our anxiety, but at what cost to themselves?

"Exhibit D: You Can Take Pressure Off the Other Children

If we believe that the actions of one child invalidate our success as parents, we may be tempted to depend on the success of our other children to prove to the world that we weren't such failures after all. These children begin to feel the pressure to report visible achievements and, in the process, to hide their own problems. On the other hand, when our worth no longer collapses amid the challenges one child brings, we'll better focus on each of the other children as individuals with their own hopes, fears, mistakes, and growth. They no longer feel themselves as objects we use to validate our parenting." Tom Goodman

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