Monday, April 28, 2014

April is my month of reckoning

Don't ask me why because there are no big dates in April (births, deaths, losses, etc), but each year it seems to be the month when I can't sleep at night and spend the time instead going over all my past failures and regrets. I know it regularly happens in April because I inevitably end up in my Bible looking for hope, rereading the promises the Lord has given me during the dark times. Then on the edges I see the dates and the prayers - April 2009, April 2011, April 2012, April 2013, and not surprisingly, April 2014. I was too sleep-deprived in April 2010 (Raccoon was 6 months old and waking up 6 times a night at least) to record anything.

Why April? It seems like it should just be an ordinary month. I will breathe a sigh of relief when it's May.

Sunday, April 27, 2014

The Only Thing I'm Missing is the Partridge and My Sanity

Twelve projects to do

Eleven e-mails to write

Ten meals a day (feels like it!)

Nine minutes until bedtime

Eight "I said NO!"

Seven hugs and kisses

Six weeks 'til my parents come

Five meowing kittens (actually 3 but they sounds like 5!)

Four crazy chickens

Three hungry dogs

Two active children


I've forgotten the rest (see post title).

Friday, April 25, 2014

My Furious Five

Whatever the kids are doing, our three dogs are curious about it too.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Life Update

Construction is going well on our second floor. The cement roof will hopefully be poured on Thursday.

Raccoon is speaking more and more Spanish. It's so great to hear him finally able to communicate with others.

Kitty learned to run this week. Her next goal is jumping. She also wants to be able to climb over the couch like big brother.

My pumpkin plants are doing well but my squash are not. Grass, on the other hand, seems to grow only where I don't want it and not where I do.

I planted roses for the first time in my life, in honor of my grandmother. The inheritance that my mother passed on to me from her helped us to buy this piece of land, almost 12 years ago. To my surprise, the roses are doing well and blooming right outside my bedroom window.

We are finding it hard to just stay home. There seem to be so many things that need to be done elsewhere.

Whenever I water my trees, it rains the next day. No matter, I am so thankful for rain.

Raccoon has three art classes left, then he hopes we'll find him a karate class. I have mixed feelings about that, so I am hoping to find a different but similar sport (kickboxing maybe?).

There are a little less than 8 weeks until my parents come to visit for a whole month.

Ten years ago today I was a junior in college. I can't believe I can say that. How was 2004 already so long ago?

This is my 418th published post.

Monday, April 7, 2014


...has got to be my least favorite thing about the baby years.

A few days ago I must have looked as tired as I felt, because a friend told me, "Don't worry, the baby years don't last forever. Someday you will sleep again. When our youngest (of 4) turned three, we noticed a huge difference."

Kitty has been a champion sleeper ever since she was born. I really can't complain after three years of not sleeping with Raccoon. But it's going on three or four months now of bad nights, and I can feel it wearing me down. Raccoon and I used to nap together. Pretty much every time he slept, I slept, even if it was just for an hour or so. I hardly ever nap with Kitty because there is so much to get done. I also try to spend some one-on-one time with Raccoon during her naps.

Today though, I just couldn't make myself get up when Kitty fell asleep. My husband came home early from work (bless him!) and I heard him ask Raccoon if he wanted to do a project outside. I rolled over and fell asleep. Much to my surprise, Kitty slept for almost three hours, despite substantial noise. I dozed off and on, but it felt like such a luxury just to be in bed.

I was counting today, and it's been 8 years since we first got SB, and our adventures in parenting started. I figure it'll take two more years for Kitty to be fairly independent, which means that 10 years of my life will have been spent in Toddlerland. I have loved all my children, but I will sigh with relief once Kitty is walking, talking, and potty trained. She's got the walking done, it's just the other two things left.

Above all, I am thankful for my two little blessings. Thankful they call me mommy and I get to hug them every day. Thankful they are still here. What amazing little people they are turning out to be.

Thursday, April 3, 2014


Both of my children probably went to bed hungry, along with our four dogs (not actually mine but we feed them since no one else apparently does) and two cats. We had a busy afternoon and tried to eat supper at the mall, but all Raccoon wanted was french fries and Kitty chewed on a piece of pizza but not much went down. Raccoon asked for some fish when we got home but was so tired that he fell asleep before it was done cooking. Kitty had a little soup but also fell asleep before finishing it.

I have written before about Raccoon's resistance to food, and we still have our good and bad days. Anytime we're out of the house, it's often a bad day, between what he will eat and what he shouldn't eat (due to food sensitivities/allergies). Kitty usually eats well, but she's been teething and not interested in eating as much. She's still nursing though so I mostly feel okay about her still. Except that I think she's been at 20 pounds for the last few months. So now I'm slightly worried and plan to keep an eye on her as well.

I forgot to buy more food for our pets, sorry guys. I never knew how complicated feeding four dogs at once was, since I've only ever had two at most and for most of my life just one. Two of the dogs are more like pigs and take everything from the other two. Being pack animals, there's a hierarchy and the dog on the bottom is pretty skinny. I like all my animals to be fat and happy. It's expensive to feed four dogs, but I'm not sure what else to do now that we've started. I can't see just stopping and watching them waste away, hanging around our door hoping for a crumb or two.    

I know there are so many hungry people, and children, in the world. It's one of the things I hate the most. One of my favorite things is to give away food, to know that someone who was hungry yesterday is full today, especially kids.

Thinking of my children being hungry, even though it's just for a few hours until tomorrow, makes me feel like a failure as a mommy.

This is an odd post, but there it is.