Friday, September 20, 2013

A Discouraging Night

Someone people came to my house tonight and I overheard one of them say to another, "Don't worry, it will look better once you're living here."

I'm doing the best I can with what I've got, folks. But truthfully, the comment by itself was not really the issue, it just brought up all the things that I've been struggling with lately. My husband and I reach out to those in need, day in and day out, but it seems like no one cares about what we do. Or that we are weary. Or that we have given up so much. Or that we are the walking wounded. Our family has been through so much in the last 8 years that I just want something to finally be easy. Plus Raccoon has been sick with a fever these last few days. After losing SB, my husband and I know that life is so fragile and we both go to this dark place of fear when Raccoon or Robin get sick. It is scary to love so much.

I can feel my heart hardening, trying to protect itself from more pain and disappointment and regret, to shut out hope and faith and trust. I should have done my devotions (journaling, reading my Bible), but I turned somewhere else instead (remember my struggle with idols? Sigh). Well, it turns out that God uses fb too.

Friend #1
"And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Galatians 6:9"

Friend #2
"God cares and He sees."

Friend #3

"Wait on God, the miracle is closer than you think. - Psalm 25:5"

Psalm 25:5, "Lead me in Your truth and teach me,
For You are the God of my salvation;
On You I wait all the day." 

I've also mentioned before about how God has to repeat things to get my attention. By the third time, I am usually ready to say, like Samuel, "Speak, Lord, for Your servant hears."

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