Sometimes I forget that I am a special needs mom, until I see an invitation for an alumni dinner and realize how impossible it would be for me to go. I feel so jealous when I see posts on Facebook about date nights or babysitters. My husband and I don't get nights out, or any time to ourselves, for that matter. One of us has to be fully present all the time, and even when we're both "on duty," it's often not enough.
It wouldn't seem like two kids would be that challenging, but with sensory issues, food allergies, extreme extroversion, and other exceptionalities, life has been really hard lately. We are exhausted. We know we need self-care, we just don't have time for it. Family tries to help us out, but if it's a bad day (which it often is), all bets are off.
I only have two plates spinning in the air - home and our non-profit - but I feel like both of them are about to break. For one of the first times ever, I wish we could just skip Christmas, or put it off a few more months. We could use a vacation, but if we spend 6 hours in the car getting there, it will be more like a nightmare. Figuring out food in new places is always hard, and often the risk outweighs the benefits, so we just stay home.
I cannot pause our lives. We must soldier on, praying that in the end, our kids will be okay. Please, Lord, let them be okay.