This is part two, so if you missed it, here is part one.
I met with the doctor who did Raccoon's play evaluation. She had several observations, more than I expected actually given that they only spent 30 minutes together. There wasn't anything surprising in his behavior while he was with her, although I think her conclusions based on the behaviors were a little off. He was very anxious so she saw what I'm concerned about, but I wish she could have seen his wonderful qualities too. The funny thing is though that he told me it was boring, that they just stacked blocks and played peekaboo. The doctor thought she was following his lead, but I think he was trying to follow hers, so neither one of them was satisfied. He didn't know the rules (he could ask for more toys) or expectations (imaginary play), so he was very passive and that counted against him as well. He tried to tell her something at the beginning, she didn't understand him, so he resorted to baby play. A bit ingenious I think, but in the long term perhaps not the best strategy. Despite their mutual misunderstandings, I think she was right about the whats, just not the whys.
It's an odd sort of feeling, to suspect that maybe more is going on then the terrible twos and threes, to go for an evaluation, and then to be told you're right. I guess I was somehow secretly hoping she'd say, "Nope, everything is fine, you're imagining things." Hearing the opposite - although expected in some sense - somehow still felt like a devastating surprise.
Most of the areas where he is struggling are close to the borderline and with appropriate intervention will probably improve. Our action plan is further testing and more opportunities to practice social skills. He didn't get any sort of label, she just identified some areas of concern.
After several days of emotional intensity on my part, I am ready to tackle things anew. I may share more once I figure out what's working. But something must be done. As another mom wrote, "No child will grow out of anything unless the conditions that are causing the issue are changed."