A friend of mine (who also has young children) posted on facebook about an upcoming trip to celebrate her tenth wedding anniversary, just her and her husband. I must confess that I felt envious. The last time my husband and I even went out to dinner together (alone!) was the night before SB died, almost 6 years ago. Two years ago on our ten year anniversary, Raccoon was one and a half. We couldn't leave him with anyone for an hour, let alone 5 days.
"F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote that the test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas at the same time, yet still retain the ability to function. To be able to see, for example, that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise.
By that definition, I must be a genius.
We parents of special needs kids face overwhelming joy and sadness, intense love and frustration, breathtaking wonder and fear—often in the course of a single day. We work tirelessly to help our kids succeed in the world, even when we have no idea what that success will look like. We are given so much reason to be hopeless, and yet, sometimes hope alone propels us forward."
From an essay called Lost.
I do hope that one day Raccoon and Robin will be happy, functioning adults. Then my husband and I will have all the time in the world to travel together. But for now, we'll stick to manageable outings, like to the grocery store and back.
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